One of Four "The End"

Freshman year is over. Praise the fucking Lord. I could go on and one about what I learned this year, what I can take from this new expierence. But I just can't. I'm too tired. I'm exhuasted of this terrible, terrible year.

I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of losing my friends. I'm tired of being replaced. Of hating myself. Not being good enough. Not eating. Eating. I'm tired of being ugly and fat and short. And being angry and hating of everything. I'm tired of being so negative. I'm tired pining for my past. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of disappointments and disappointing. I'm tired of ripping out my hair. I'm tired of lying. I'm tired of trying to make someone (anyone) help me. I'm tired of being stupid. Of fucking everything up. Crying. Not being able to cry anymore. Of being being a bitch. Faking everything. Lying. Waiting for a better break. Being quiet. Watching everyone get sick. Fucking cancer. I'm tired of swearing and texting and this fucking computer. I'm tired of waiting to get into a car crash. Changing and change. I'm tired of people just walking out, and not giving a crap that I can't do it anymore.

I'm so tired of this year.

And I just want to go to sleep. Only if I do, I wonder whether or not I'll let myself wakeup?