Thank Yous of the Week...

Thank you Jimmy Fallon for slow jammin' the news with Brian Williams, with the subject of the turmoil of Greece's ecomony, so now I may never think of Greece without thinking of it being the "oldest G spot."

Thank you the Annoying Orange, for never allowing me to ever take oranges seriously.

Thank you Mel Gibson, for acting like such a douche, and replacing Alec Baldwin and David Hasselhoff as World's Suckiest Celebrity Father. And making my father look like a good one.

Thank you Russian Spy, Anna Chapman, for once again reassuring that there is no limit to what pretty girls can get.

Thank you Apple, for coming up with the solution for the iPhone 4 as adding a rubber case to it. Which, y'know, everyone else could just buy a more attractive case. Real genius solution for the people who's computers are known for their long lasting use and limited hard-to-get viruses, and who changed the way we listen to music.

Thank you guy in Church, who has a loud, annoying ringtone, for not turning your phone off and receiving a call.

Thank you Massachusetts town I forgot the name of (possibly because it's been like a month since the news broke...), for allowing students from first grade through high school to ask for birth control from the school nurse without parental consent, for making Massachusetts girls look like a bunch of whores.