I kind of wish I could win an Oscar or Emmy or something so I could give a huuge thank you speech and be like:

"Right. And I need to thank the people who've made me who I am today. Amanda _____, Tara ________, Jordan ________, and Michelle _________ for being there through all the years. The only people who I still love and care for from all those years ago. For growing up together."

And then I hope Katrina is watching, and I hope that she's really pissed off.

The best day of my life wasn't a day. It was a week. May 25, 2010 to May 29, 2010. Everything about it... I can't describe, and I don't want to, but it makes me feel. Really, really good. It wasn't the last I was really happy, but it was close. And if I could go back and change everything. I wouldn't dare touch that five days. Not for the world.

Actually. If I could redo this whole year. I wouldn't touch anything. And I know that anyone reading this that read my past entries is probably wondering how much crack I smoked today, but I mean it. Because look at how happy everyone else is. I can't ruin that just so I can have friends.

Just looking at this year, I think they'll be all right--my friends, I mean. And I hope they are. I wish them all the best. Even if I don't exactly think Jordan and Amanda and Tara are best classified as friends, even though I want them to be. And yeah no. Katrina's not a friend. I'm still proud of them. All of them. Because they're everything I'll never add up.

I wish them all the best.

Because they deserve.

And I deserve my misery. I really, really do.