Love, love, love.

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing.

I really really think God is awfully pissed off at me. I skip church a lot. And I purposefully pissed certain authorities off a lot last year. Also I'm just a bitch, who is sure God is pissed off at her. Some things, I can take, and other things is just are you fucking serious? moment. Starting from January because I've tormented this poor thing with school related rants enough, so quick speed up: I hate high school, I fail at life, I have two friend friends (Michelle and Tara) who go to different schools. So my ELA teacher moves our seats, and I get to sit next to Christian, who just happened to fuck over my kinda friend. Cool. Then he goes out with my former BFF. Okay. Then Tara decides she's going to move Georgia. Nooooooooo. Michelle thinks that she is going to date this guy, but decides nooope, she likes the kid who has a girlfriend, and also who her close friend likes. WTF. Then Mackenzie's mom gets cancer from the radiation that was used to treat her former cancer. D': Michelle's boytoy breaks up with his girlfriend, and she's after him. OhJesusthis'llendbadly. My history seat is moved, so I get to sit behind Katrina--who I used to cry over, but now I want to punch in the face, realllllllllly badly--, and Denzel, who's goal in life is to make me look like the biggest jerk in the world. FFFFML. Christian and Jordan break up, but he still sits next to me. EWWW. My dad apparently thinks he's going to sell his business, which I find out because a neighbor told my mom. Qui? Tara decides it's fuckitI'mmoving and doesn't bother to ever communicate with me. ): Just to top things off for some unknown reason I can barely run without my ankles wanting to extract themselves from my body. Both of my old softball coaches did not want me on their. My effing best friend ignores me shitless, and is moving away without caring. I still live in what was in the 80's, the suicide capital of the US. My grammie has pains throughout her body. I got a 58% in algebra I, which the teacher told me I should have been in Sp. education math. The cashier at CVS asked me if I had a nose job gone wrong in a really sad voice. The softball uniforms are the JV soccer uniforms. My hair falling out because I killed, and pull it out anyway when I'm stressed. Coolcoolcool.

I remember when I cared about Katrina not being my friend anymore. Up to date, I honestly feel no remorse over that anymore. What happened happened. I cannot control people. I cannot make them be my friend. But that was never our case, was it Tara? We did not fight. You did not abandon me. For God's sake Tara, do not go away. Do not move. Please. Without you, I cannot do it. When I'm with, That Thing is not my problem. You did not judge me. You were the only one I told about how much I hated school. You even tried to help me. Please. I cannot stay in this place. I cannot live where no one cares. I can't do it without you. You are honestly my best friend. It's not even August, and it's like you've left forever already. I give up now, okay?