School is Not a Fashion Statement this Fall

Do I even have to remind anyone that it is like almost that dreadful time of year again? If I still going to my old school, which thankfully I'm not, then I'd be heading back on Monday (or maybe Tuesday?). I'd be thinking about what a shitty year I was about to have, and betting how many days it would take for the priniciple, Mrs.____, to make me use disinfectant wipe to take off the makeup I''m not wearing, burn my retinas, and get yelled at for not wearing anything. Still, I wouldn't be nervous because it's the same old Catholic school I'd been going to since preschool; where my grandpa was the crossing guard, my grandma the librarian, my science teacher that us we looked lovely today, my English teacher with the rug and couch in her room, and my homeroom teacher that constantly told us she wouldn't have stayed if it weren't for us. How touching.

Am I sad that I'm not going back? I'll miss my friends, my middle school teachers, seeing my grandparents everyday, and getting up at eight. But I had such a terrible time at that school, and it's all your fault, prinicible. I would say your full name, you don't live in my town, but you do live close by. And I'm not that mean. I'd like to tell you, you're such a bitch. You targeted Jordan and I, and made us use those wipes that really hurt, to wipe off makeup we weren't wearing. Did it ever occur to you that Jordan's eyelashes were so close together and dark, it always looks like she has eyeliner on? Or that my eyelashes are just thick and black? Sorry, that we just look good naturally. And you couldn't even catch us when we had it on. I know you targeted us. Tara would have on teal eyeliner, but she never scrubbed her face. Katrina wore eyeliner and mascara everyday. Little precious, Sammie, who never did anything wrong, wore eyeliner by the gallon. But none of them ever got yelled at. None of them were ever accused of anything. I hope, that if I ever do anything worthwhile in my life (which you have already told me I won't), that I get to make a speech and call you out. In fact, I hope you somehow stumble upon this. I hate you that much. You did much more to us than the makeup stuff, but I'll keep my mouth shut about the other things for now. I can't wait to visit this year and look like a whore.

Anyhow, I'm stuck at this public high school, which I'm already sure is better than Catholic. It's an interesting story how I wound up here, but that's for another time too. My teachers sound too eager, and I refuse to go to a poetry slam. I'm not looking forward to getting up at 6:30, and going to school. I'm not looking forward to being in school 4, with all the smart people. I could just really want one class with someone I know and I like. And altogether I don't want to go to high school, because knowing me, I'll just end up alone. It's still better than the old school.

And I'm so good at pretending that I'm just my happy, funny normal self, that everyone believes me. Maybe that's a good thing, 'cause that's what I'm aiming for. Then again, it would be nice for someone to see through this bullshit. Or not. I don't know anymore. Maybe I should actually take my bipolar pills, instead of flushing them down the toilet. Eh, who knows, I have to go consider reading Cut, but ultimately fail and then go to the movies with my friends.

You know you love me,

Bianca

How I Love Being Nice

I had a mental breakdown a few days ago. You see, my friend Katrina (who is like legit a day older than me, and has been my friend 10+ years), has just been ignoring me, and I feel like total crap. I seriously haven't hung out with her all summer, and I have no clue what I did. Luckily (not really), she's also been ignoring my other friends too.

Wednesday, on my beloved Facebook, errupted into "like this status, and I'll write five things I like about you." Of course I liked the ones that I found, and of course I made one of my own. I'm legitimately sick of being a bitch. Yes I have sarcastic humor. Yes people laugh at it. But honestly, I like being nice.

Things People 'Like' About Me :)

Kim- ‎1- your sooo nice
2- we went to school togetherr
3-you cheered with mee(:
4--your pretty
5-your amazingggg

That made me very happy. I have not talked to her in forever.

Ashley- ‎1. i like how we played softball togetherrr(:
2. i like how yur prettttyy
3. i like how yur really niceee
4. i like how yur super funnyyy(:
5. and i like how we would always pretend to yell at each other during practices ;D

I haven't talked to her in forever either, and number five brought back some hilarious memories.

Mallory- i like how we were on panthers togetherr. i like how we went to dc with each otherr. i like how pretty you are. i like how funny you are. && i like how greatt of a softball player you are.

I can't honestly begin how RELIEVED I was. And, yes, I cried. Last year, I accidently hit Mallory in the face with a softball. I was hated by the other girls that went to her school that was on my team, and I felt like shit that whole season. Obviously, those girls have forgiven, but Mallory has too, and that's what mattered most.

Liz- Shonks! I like how you went to D.C. with me! I like how we played softball together! I like how kenny made up your new name! I like how your super chill!

This was one of the girls that hated me. We had such a great time together in D.C.. I hope I see her a lot in high school.

Kayley- ‎1.i like how we were on the same softball team for a few years
2.i like how your really nice
3.i like how your so funny
4.i like you profile picture
5.i like how your really pretty (:

I miss Kayley so much! We had great times.

Jordan- ‎1. i like how your my best friend.
2. i like how im going to your house saturday.
3. i like your profile picture even though i have no make up on in it.
4. i like how we are going to the same hs.
5. and i like how your gunna text me now

Jordan is my best friend. I wouldn't ever go to high school without her. She is the best person I know, and she didn't have say, "omg ur pwetty."

Tara- ‎1. I like how your hair looks when its bein' styled.
2. I like how we talk WAY to much on the phone sometimes.
3. I like how I've been at your house like 20 times over the summer.
4. I like how we can talk about everything and anything.
5. I like how when we are stylin' our hair at your house it goes quite.
...6. I like how many inside jokes we have.
7. I like how we can laugh about things that no one in the room finds funny.
8. I like how we can dance in a store and not be embarassed.
9. I like how your one of my prettiest friends.
10. I like how I'm gonna miss you at school this year.
11. I like how I'm already on #11.
12. I like how I didn't even know you really (and you didn't like you) 3 years back, and know were best friends. :)

I legit laughed and cried at this. Tara makes LOL at anything, and we for real do dance in stores. I'm going to miss her so much next year, when she's her high school.

The Things I Said to People

I'm not posting all the posts I posted, but I'll post my favorites.

Jordan- I LOVE how your legit my best friend. I like how we go shopping together and spend like a million dollars. I like how we buy everyone bad gifts. I like how you make me laugh so hard. I like how we both had to go to the same hs. I like you're the prettiest person I know. I like how you're hair looks even when it's natural. I like how you got in trouble at sas when it was a bunch of bs. I like how this is way over 5 likes.I also like how you wear my clothes eat all the cheezits I don't want and got to scrub your face enough to take off the makeup Tara Katrina and I were wearing.

Our princibal was a fucking bitch. She targeted my best friend (Jordan) and me, and made us scrub off our makeup. More than half the time, we weren't wearing any, and there'd be seveth graders with blue eyeshadow on, who wouldn't get in trouble.

Tara- . I like how we've been friends since forever aka 5th grade
2. I like how many inside jokes we have, Seth meyers
3. I like you'll geddit (cuz im goffic)
4. I like how you make literally make me LMAO
5. I like how we have our rants about random crap.
...6. I like how we watch Doctor Who together.
7. I like you how get horrible makeovers and laugh
8. I like how youre pretty even though I say youre old looking.
9. I like how you got a good nose
10. I like how youre Asian
11. I like how you tolerated all those mom jokes
12. I like how paint your nails everytime youre at my house
13. I like how youre my favorite half breed.
14. I like how you support my need to have a little giraffe
15. I like how were going to stay friends forever.
16. I like how I went wayy over 5 but I love you that much

I think I'm just not going to explain these ones.

Back to the Top

Writing all these nice things about people, have made me feel more desperate to talk to Katrina. They are thousands of amazing things I want to tell her, but I'm just going to give up. If she doesn't want to be friends, then, yes, I will cry and miss her like crazy, but I know I have other people who sincerely want to be my friend.